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Leadership Masculinity

Respecting the Strength of Her Brothers

If you have been blessed with sons and daughters you will have noticed the differences between them. Boys and girls are different. Those differences are glorious.

Even so, until they reach a certain age, they are still just kids. They will play a lot of the same games. Even wrestle. Girls wrestle differently than boys (girls tend to make it more elaborate than it needs to be, for example, with more rules and character play), but they will join in on the roughhousing.

For a sister that is older than her brothers, this presents a potential danger. She will be stronger than them. She will be bigger than them.

For a while, at least.

Eventually, the tables will turn. Her brothers — if they are not effeminate — will be able to keep her at bay with minimal effort. This can cause some resentment or bullying if you have not prepared everyone properly.

Prepare your daughters to respect the strength of your sons. She should treat their potential strength as actual strength.

She should be the damsel in distress and let them rescue her from another brother, or from you. She should not gloat over besting them in an athletic feat. She should treat them with the respect due to someone stronger than her.

Her brothers, likewise, have reciprocal obligations toward her that they can start practicing, but that is the topic of another post.

Too many women grow up not realizing the inherent strength a man can possess. They presume too much about the patience of other men. They are rude. They mouth off. Sometimes they physically assault them.

This is dangerous.

Like kicking a fearsome dog because you see it bound by collar and chain, but you can’t see if the chain is attached to anything sturdy at the other end. You just assume.

These women count on all men they come across to abide by certain obligations and cultural norms, while they themselves abandon any pretense of reciprocal virtue and respect.

While our culture still runs on the momentum of Christendom, they remain safe, knowing that no man would dare break any of these cultural norms. Not overtly, anyway.

But the one-sided peace won’t last forever. Even the dregs of chivalry will soon be drained dry. And when it happens, it will happen fast and hard. The dog was never chained, to begin with.

Don’t put your daughters in a position where they are naive about the strength of men and the respect it deserves.

And this respect starts at home.