If you want to be treated like a man, you have to act like a man. This means taking on responsibility without grumbling or complaining.
And it means direct speech without any waffle words or detached irony.
You aren’t owed respect. You have to earn it.
I had to earn it from my father-in-law. I can pinpoint the exact conversation where our relationship started to change.
He didn’t like where we were going to church at the time. He thought it was a bit loose with the Bible and that we could do better.
While we were at his house, he brought it up with me while we were alone in the living room. He was concerned.
“I understand. But this is what I’ve decided for our family right now. I’m the one who is responsible for their spiritual well-being. I’m the one who will give an account to God for it. It was my decision to make, and I took it very, very seriously.”
Those weren’t the exact words, but that gives the gist of it.
His whole demeanor changed and the conversation ended. From that point on, he treated me more as an equal. From time to time, he even asked for my advice on certain things.
All because I made it clear that I was not shirking my responsibility, but doing exactly the opposite. And I said it clearly, directly, and with conviction.
The glad assumption of responsibility is the essence of masculinity. Authority and respect flow to a man who makes it clear that he will not avoid that responsibility.
Do you feel like you don’t get respect from other men?
- Stop complaining.
- Take responsibility for something and follow through.
- When you have a disagreement, lay out your case in direct language. Don’t be passive aggressive.