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Leadership

Reclaiming Authority as a Husband and Father

You have abdicated. You have spent years letting your children run over you. You have spent years letting your wife run over you. You have defaulted to the default. No vision. No drive. Just a hunk of flesh who earns a paycheck then lays on the couch watching TV. You never stand up to your […]

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Discipline Leadership

House Rules vs. Universal Rules

There are universal rules and there are house rules. Universal rule: do not steal. House rule: don’t put your feet up on the couch. Universal rules never change. House rules can vary from house to house, from town to town. It’s important to keep these categories straight and never conflate them. Treating house rules as […]

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Leadership

Set Clear Expectations

Be clear about your expectations. Communicate them. Explicity. Do not make assumptions. Your wife can’t read your mind. Your children can’t read your mind. It is not fair to them for you to assume, and doing so is a recipe for bitterness and resentment. Good leaders lay out their expectations clearly. In order to be […]

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Leadership

A Wife So Valuable You Become Her Servant

In Xenophon’s Oeconomicus, Ischomachus relays a conversation he has had with his new, young wife. He has been training her to run the household, and at one point he says to her: But the most pleasant experience of all is to prove yourself better than I am, to make me your servant. What does Ischomachus […]

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Leadership

Smash the Patriarchy and You Get Tyranny

A rejection of open patriarchy leads to hidden tyranny. It is inevitable. When the authority of fathers is rejected, it doesn’t eliminate that authority. It flows upward toward the waiting arms of the state. And the State will rush to fill the void. This is the welfare apparatus. This is the public education system. This […]

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Leadership

Don’t Trust Netflix With Your Children

Your discernment is not allowed to take a vacation. As a father, you cannot let down your guard. It is literally part of your job to always be paying attention. The biggest way a father can abdicate his responsibility is with the entertainment his children consume. We want shortcuts. We want well-laid-out rules so we […]

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Education Leadership

No Auto-Pilot for Parenting

In Xenophon’s Oeconomicus, Socrates is getting a farming lesson from Ischomachus, an estate manager held in high regard. Socrates says that if you don’t know what the soil is capable of growing, how do you know what to plant or sow? Ischomachus gives a straightforward answer. …you can tell by looking at the crops and […]

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Discipline Leadership

Empathy and Immaturity

“Empathy” is a relatively new word. It came about in the early 20th century. It is nowhere found in the Bible. While there may have been good intentions behind the word, today it has been weaponized by the immature. A family that values inclusiveness will always attempt to appease its most ornery members. Criticism is […]

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Leadership

Deflating the Balloon

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a leader is to claw back the responsibility you have delegated to another. You nitpick what they are doing because it isn’t done exactly how you would do it. You hover over their shoulder. You leave no room for natural learning and as a result, you […]

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Leadership

Words That Live in the Bones

I remember some of the most random things from my childhood. Some moments of shame. Some filled with hilarity. Some with poignant melancholy. And some that teach an important lesson. When I was 9 or 10, my family spent the evening at the home of some family friends. Oreos were on the menu for dessert. […]