Categories
Discipline Education

The Lowest Stakes Imaginable

My kids were playing hide and seek at the park with another boy. A few rounds had gone by, and it was my youngest son’s turn to be “it.” He counted and found the other boy fast. But he had some trouble finding his older sister. After a few minutes, the boy tempted him. “I […]

Categories
Education

Don’t Assume They Know

Sometimes, we have to slow down and remember that our kids are just kids. When we teach them something, we are coming from a position of experience and knowledge. It’s hard to go back to the beginner’s mind and speak from foundational principles. What words do we need to define? What concepts do we need […]

Categories
Discipline

Require Excellence

As your children grow and you begin to give them jobs, you will quickly find yourself in several predicaments. They won’t want to do the job. This is handled by discipline and standing your ground. They get punished if they don’t do it or if they constantly whine about doing it. Period. But the other […]

Categories
Discipline Leadership

Listen to Both Sides

When dealing with disputes between your children, you must listen to both sides. And never, never reward the first one to come yelling to you for help without having a firm understanding of the situation. The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. Proverbs 18:17 You will […]

Categories
Education Leadership

Admit Your Fears

While at lunch, I asked my son about his favorite movies. I had let my kids watch Indian Jones and Last Crusade and Jurassic Park recently, with me skipping a few scenes in each. They seemed to enjoy them. After watching Jurassic Park, my middle son just sat there, shaking his head. Then he said […]

Categories
Masculinity

What Makes a Good Friend

While there are many attributes that a “good friend” will have, there is one that is critical. A lack of envy. A willingness to rejoice when others rejoice. When you have good news, you know exactly who you want to tell, because they let you be excited and they don’t try to one-up you. “Oh […]

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Leadership Masculinity

How to Cultivate Gravitas

Gravitas means you have weight. People tend to conflate it with somberness and over-seriousness, but the men who have the most gravitas usually have an equal amount of charisma. Gravitas means you have responsibilities that you take seriously, but you don’t take yourself seriously. You treat things with the tone and attention they deserve. Modern […]

Categories
Legacy

Staying Married

Good fathers are good husbands. How you treat your wife will be mimicked by your boys and expected by your girls. Guiding their mother is guiding one of your children’s main role models, so it is a job to take seriously. At a minimum, this means you should stay married. It is one of the […]

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Masculinity

Earning Respect From Other Men

If you want to be treated like a man, you have to act like a man. This means taking on responsibility without grumbling or complaining. And it means direct speech without any waffle words or detached irony. You aren’t owed respect. You have to earn it. I had to earn it from my father-in-law. I […]

Categories
Discipline

Killing Envy in Your Children

Envy is a powerful emotion. And it is a form of relational acid. If not kept in check, it will destroy relationships. A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30 It can also twist a person’s affections beyond recognition, making them chase things they don’t even care […]