Categories
Masculinity

Do or Die Moments

Every boy needs a “do or die” moment to consider himself a man. His confidence depends upon it. This is one reason why rites of passages are so important. Each one of these moments prepares a man for the next one, and then the next one, and the next one. Strength and experience increase. It […]

Categories
Legacy

A Garden Untended is Not a Garden

Many fathers don’t tend to the garden of their family and then get mad when it doesn’t bear any fruit. Years of neglect, and they are surprised at the thorns and thistles that greet them. The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing. Proverbs 20:4 Children are […]

Categories
Education

What to Do When Your Kids Won’t Answer Questions

Whenever we ask our kids a question, whenever we try to get them to open up, there are two dreaded responses: Silence “I don’t know.” When this keeps happening, we should first check that we aren’t asking boring questions. Or that we are asking questions that deserve to be asked. They need to be worth […]

Categories
Masculinity

They Might as Well be Orphans

You can tell when a little boy has had no masculine influence in his life. When I take my kids to parks that contain lots of other children, these emasculated boys stick out like a tone-deaf singer in a choir. After you know what to look for, that is. A boy who has been raised […]

Categories
Discipline Education

The Lowest Stakes Imaginable

My kids were playing hide and seek at the park with another boy. A few rounds had gone by, and it was my youngest son’s turn to be “it.” He counted and found the other boy fast. But he had some trouble finding his older sister. After a few minutes, the boy tempted him. “I […]

Categories
Education

Don’t Assume They Know

Sometimes, we have to slow down and remember that our kids are just kids. When we teach them something, we are coming from a position of experience and knowledge. It’s hard to go back to the beginner’s mind and speak from foundational principles. What words do we need to define? What concepts do we need […]

Categories
Discipline

Require Excellence

As your children grow and you begin to give them jobs, you will quickly find yourself in several predicaments. They won’t want to do the job. This is handled by discipline and standing your ground. They get punished if they don’t do it or if they constantly whine about doing it. Period. But the other […]

Categories
Discipline Leadership

Listen to Both Sides

When dealing with disputes between your children, you must listen to both sides. And never, never reward the first one to come yelling to you for help without having a firm understanding of the situation. The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. Proverbs 18:17 You will […]

Categories
Education Leadership

Admit Your Fears

While at lunch, I asked my son about his favorite movies. I had let my kids watch Indian Jones and Last Crusade and Jurassic Park recently, with me skipping a few scenes in each. They seemed to enjoy them. After watching Jurassic Park, my middle son just sat there, shaking his head. Then he said […]

Categories
Masculinity

What Makes a Good Friend

While there are many attributes that a “good friend” will have, there is one that is critical. A lack of envy. A willingness to rejoice when others rejoice. When you have good news, you know exactly who you want to tell, because they let you be excited and they don’t try to one-up you. “Oh […]